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With so many toys on our website designed for bondage play and BDSM, if you’re not fully conversant with the practice, those four letters may have sparked a little interest. If you’re a full-blown expert on the topic, you can probably skip this article. Still, if you’re a little inquisitive into letting yourself go in ways you haven’t already, or wondering how to start BDSM with your partner, then the following Q&A will provide a lot of the information you need. If you’ve been dreaming of a hard spanking, love being rewarded for ‘being a good little girl (or boy)’, or if you’d like to take control of your partner and be the boss for a change, you’re in exactly the right place.
BDSM is an acronym of a selection of activities and practices, where some of the letters overlap, to cover everything under the ‘BDSM’ umbrella: • BD – Bondage and Discipline • DS – Dominance and Submission • SM – Sadism and Masochism Bondage: the act of tying up a partner for sexual gratification. Most often, it’s the dominant partner who restrains their submissive using anything and everything from ropes, cuffs, silk scarves, to belts. Discipline: or, being disciplined. Th e pleasure derives from being ordered to carry out specific acts, or the act of the discipline itself, which can include impact play, verbal punishment, and humiliation. Dominance: The dominant, dom, or domme, is the partner who controls the session and their partner, giving orders and commands, holding the power role over their submissive. Submission: The submissive relinquishes their power to their dominant, carrying out all the acts demanded of them—sexual or not—but typically to induce a state of arousal. Sadism: A partner who enjoys delivering pain as part of the punishment roleplay or purely for the act itself. Masochist: Someone who is turned on by pain during sexual activities.
Educate yourself. There’s masses of information online, so you don’t have to go far to become an expert of the theory. When you start to practice, take your time. Make sure you follow guides when planning your sessions, especially for your first few times. Set your limits, know each other’s needs, expectations—and what’s strictly off the table. Take it easy on each other. Building up slowly doesn’t just allow you to find your feet at your own pace, but also, the anticipation of what’s yet to come can be incredibly erotic.
BDSM is more common than you think. It’s quite healthy to be inquisitive about sex, about what turns you on, and what makes your ultimate experience. Who wouldn’t want to find what it might take to turn them inside out and have them screaming from the rafters? Almost everyone will have played with a blindfold, given their partner a cheeky slap, or tied them up a bit. Even taking the lead and being a bit bossier than usual can be considered dominant. A lot of our customers ask ‘Why BDSM?’ – Our answer: well, why not?
It depends on your budget and what you like to play with. The most valuable tools BDSM players have at their disposal are their imaginations and creativity. If you can afford to splash out on harnesses, collars, ropes, and chains, or anything that you know will hit your kink, then that’s great—dive in! There are always simpler means to the same end. You can fashion a sexy blindfold from all sorts of things you already own; the same goes for tying each other up and restricting movement. If you find that BDSM is definitely for you, then you’ll be excited to develop a wardrobe full of the things that make you feel the sexiest and get you the most turned on. Does BDSM hurt? Tricky question. Physical and mental pain during sex can feel very different to how they would in your everyday life. It should only hurt if you want it to—and you like it. The pain thresholds need to be discussed in your limits, so you both know where to draw the line.
